Death is When the Heart Breaks
by Exploding Dandelion
Summary: Love is killing her, but Kurumu does not want Tsukune to know. Does not want him to feel guilty. And even though they both know she's lying, he'll let her have this moment. She will cherish this day, even with death looming over her. Because it has to be enough for her.


**Hello! Please note, there are possible spoilers for those who have not read from volume nine of season II and on. **

**Here is a short one-shot, taking place a bit after Kurumu saves Tsukune from going vampire-ghoul for life (or death, as the case may be). A bit Au-ish, and slight TsukunexKurumu. I hope it's all right if I ask for some reviews. Thank you for those who favorite, review, etc. **

**Onward.**

* * *

Even in a mirror world, the sun is hot and harsh on Kurumu as she wanders around the streets, head throbbing from yesterday's brief fight with Tsukune. The cuts and scrapes do not heal as quickly as they should, although the bone-deep exhaustion from before no longer leaves her muscles feeling like lead. She is tired though, and her head reminds her that collapsing several times within a few days does nothing for migraines.

_It doesn't matter. As long as he's safe, as long as he's _alive_, I don't care what happens to me. And that kiss..._

Her lips still tingle long after the kiss is over, and even though she knows it was an act of desperation to save Tsukune, she cannot stop her trembling fingers from caressing her mouth. Her heart doesn't know what to do, torn between curling into the smallest ball imaginable or swelling until it explodes. Her mind lifts and she feels feather-light. Reaching out, she grasps the corner of a nearby building and holds on tight as a wave of nausea hits her.

"Ugh, not good," she mumbles, leaning her back on the building and letting herself slide to the ground. She kicks a nearby tin can, watching it roll across the cement before closing her eyes. Sighing, she presses two fingers to her head. "There's no way they'll let me train if this doesn't let up soon. How am I going to be of any use if I can't even stand up straight?"

The sun's rays seem to hear her thoughts, and suddenly she sits under shadows. Smiling at the cool, she opens her eyes and gasps when she sees Tsukune standing over her. Heart jumping to her throat, she grabs the wall and scrambles up, stumbling as her legs tangle. She yelps and falls forward, but Tsukune grasps her by the shoulders and lifts her up, waiting for her to steady herself before letting go.

Cheeks burning, Kurumu brushes a stray lock of blue hair from her face. "S-sorry, Tsukune!" Biting her lip, she peeks at Tsukune through her bangs to see what the spell has done to him. Her heart skips when she sees his eyes boring into hers, although her excitement dampens when she sees the bags beneath his eyes.

Swallowing, she pumps cheer into her voice. "Are you feeling better after yesterday? Do...you remember much?" She looks away at the last part, but Tsukune only hums, still not taking his eyes off of her. Kurumu shifts her feet, heart racing. "Is something wrong-"

"I overheard something, when I woke up in my room." Tsukune's voice is low and Kurumu leans in to hear more clearly. She glances at his hands, eyes widening when she sees them clenched so hard the skin turns bright white. Kurumu's stomach squeezes and she takes a step back, pressing herself to the wall.

"Oh? What did you hear?" She giggles, waving her hand. "Did Mizore say something bad? I promise to get back at-"

"Kurumu," Tsukune says, breathing hard, "they, Gin and Mizore, were talking about how...unwell you've been these last few days." There is a pause. He swallows hard, eyes looking at her as though he were lost. "That you were dying."

Kurumu opens her mouth, silently gasping for air at his words. The street beneath her melts under her toes and she wavers. Tsukune grabs a hold of her arm and pulls her up, his face paling. "They were telling the truth then? How? How are you dying?"

Kurumu blinks, shaking her head at his words. He continues to plead for answers while her mind reels, grasping for a response.

_He didn't hear everything. He really doesn't know why. But-how do they know? Did Mizore look it up? Did someone tell her?_

"Kurumu, do you need to sit down? Come on, let's go, and you can tell me, and we'll figure out how to fix it." Tsukune is pulling her arm over his shoulder before she can utter a sound. Despite herself, she allows him to lead her along, leaning on him more than she probably should and relishing the way her body melds with his.

She watches him from the corner of her eye, her ears catching his warnings about pushing herself too hard and how she overdid it yesterday. His voice wavers several times and her eyes snap away when he glances at her. "You can't let it get too bad, Kurumu. I mean, if-if you're really..." He trails off, and Kurumu's chest tightens at the shine she catches in his eyes.

A light green bench comes into view and Tsukune gently lowers her down, plopping beside her once he's sure she's secure. Kurumu swallows down the growing lump in her throat, slamming her eyes shut when a stray thought whispers, _"He's finally paying attention to you."_

_Don't think like that. What about Moka? What about his promise to her? And...and I want to save her too. I can't just let her go like that! I-I need to win Tsukune from her, fair and square. If she's gone, there's no way Tsukune will..._

"Kurumu, your hands."

She blinks, watching as her hands tremble in her lap. Shaking her head, she grabs her knees and manages to smile at Tsukune. "Sorry. Guess you're right about the whole, 'pushing yourself too hard' thing." Shrugging, she looks toward the sky. "It's just, everyone is working so hard to bring Moka back. It feels like I'm being left behind somehow. And I don't want that. I want to be able to work as hard as anyone else here."

Tsukune shakes his head, eyes darkening. "But if you die, Kurumu-"

"What about you?" She cannot keep the bite from her voice, but she softens as she goes on. "What about the spell! You knew it could kill you but you did it anyway. Why can't I do that? Why is it fine for you to risk your neck, but if one of us tries to do it, you start-start-"

"I'm doing it _so_ none of you have to..." He groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I know that everyone wants to help. That what we're doing is dangerous. But, if you're already hurt- I mean, just because we're doing something risky doesn't mean I want something bad to happen."

"I'm not saying you do! I'm saying we all get to take the same kind of risks! That we're doing this together."

"But that's not what it sounded like," Tsukune grinds the words out, startling Kurumu. "The way Mizore was saying it, it sounded like a problem that's been around for a while. Not because of training or working too long and too hard. That-that it's something inside of you."

His shoulders slump and he meets her eyes, sad and scared and something else she just can't read no matter how long she looks. Kurumu's eyes burn and she wipes at them, brushing away the welling tears. "Tsu-Tsukune."

"I don't want anything bad happening to you. But, I can't help you if I don't know what the problem is. So, please," he lays a hand on her shoulder and squeezes, a tear managing to escape before he blinks the rest away, "tell me what's wrong. Tell me how I can help. Please, Kurumu. I-I don't want to lose you."

A sob claws its way up her throat and it takes all of Kurumu's strength to bite it back. Her lower lip quivers and before she can stop herself, she's pulling Tsukune into a hug. Hearing his small gasp, she buries her face into the crook of his shoulder and wraps her arms as tightly as she can around his waist.

_Tsukune...Tsukune, you have no idea how much that means to me. No idea at all. _

Her heart swells as the gentle warmth floods into her chest, and she smiles when he slowly returns the embrace. For a brief moment, when she is so close to Tsukune that she can feel his pulse beating in his neck, she considers being selfish and telling him the truth. Confessing how much she _needs_ him. Imagines telling him exactly what he'd have to do to save her and knowing, deep down inside, that'd he do it.

_Because that's who Tsukune is. Selfless. Kind. Self-sacrificing._

_All the things I want to be, and they're all because of you._

The moment passes with the thought. She peels away from him, settling for this one hug, and this one lie.

"Don't worry about it, Tsukune." Her eyes still water but she closes them until the tears slip back. Tsukune's blinking away another tear of his own, and Kurumu smiles. "They're just overreacting. I mean, I can't blame them. I was surprised I collapsed at all, so they probably think I'm sick or something."

Her fingers twine with his and she lets out a small gasp when he grabs her hand. "Kurumu..."

"But I'm fine. Really." Her heart is torn between exploding and shriveling up, but she doesn't let it show on her face. The smile remains in place; a laugh replaces the sob. "Just...just let me stay near you. For as long as I can, I want to be right beside you."

He studies her as she grows silent, but Kurumu betrays nothing in her eyes. Tsukune's eyes droop, a small, sad smile forming. Kurumu tightens her hold on his hand, jerking him up and leading him away from the bench.

Tsukune knows that it is a lie.

Kurumu knows he knows.

But for this instant, they say nothing. Tsukune lets Kurumu lead him wherever she wants to go. No one will interrupt them on this walk. And she smiles and chuckles and relishes these moments with her soul mate who loves another, but still holds her hand.

For now, it's enough for her.

It has to be enough.


End file.
